Dear Friends
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow
older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping
as they did when they were younger. When men notice this, they should try not
to yell. Let me relate how I handle the situation.
When I got laid off from my consulting job and took
'early retirement' in March, it became necessary for Nadine to get a full-time
job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we need. It was shortly after she started working that
I noticed that she was beginning to show her age.
I usually get home from fishing or hunting about the same
time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost
always says that she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts
supper. I try not to yell; instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me
when she finally does get supper on the table. She used to do the dishes as
soon as we finished eating. It is now not unusual for them to sit on the table
for several hours after supper. I do what I can by reminding her several times
each evening that they aren't cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this,
as it does seem to help her get them done before she goes to bed. Now that she
is older, she seems to get tired so much more quickly. Our washer and dryer are
in the basement. Sometimes she says she just can't make another trip down those
steps. I don't make a big issue of this. As long as she finishes up the laundry
the next evening, I am willing to overlook it.
Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear
to the Monday lodge meeting or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or to
Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling or something like that, I will tell her to wait
until the next evening to do the ironing. This gives her a little more time to
do some of those odds and ends things like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or
dusting.
Also, if I have a really good day of fishing, this allows
her to gut and scale the fish at a more leisurely pace.
Nadine is starting to complain a little occasionally. For
example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the
monthly bills during her lunch hour. In spite of her complaining, I continue to
try to offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three
days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing
lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any, if you know what I mean.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more
rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing
the yard. I try not to embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest
breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed
lemonade and just sit for a while. I tell her that, as long as she is making
one for herself, she may as well make one for me and take her break by the
hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I
support Nadine on a daily basis. I'm not saying that the ability to show this
much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it
impossible. No one knows better than I do how frustrating women can become as they
get older. However, guys, even if you just yell at your wife a little less
often because of this article, I will consider that writing it was worthwhile.
Signed Bob.
Bob's funeral was
on Saturday, April 25th
Nadine was
acquitted Monday, April 27th.
