Today, singles and looking for special someone, more and
more search for their dates online. If you happen to be a single senior who is
looking for love or companionship, senior dating sites should be considered as great
places to meet your match.
Online dating is attractive for several reasons: the pool
of eligible partners is large; it offers an alternative to relying on family
and friends as matchmakers; people live longer and are more likely to seek new
relationships later in life; and the increase in broadband access to the
Internet has expanded the potential market. Baby boomers are the fastest
growing demographic in the world of online dating, perhaps due to increasing
computer literacy. Dating sites that serve cultures where arranged marriages
are the norm have given singles a greater chance to participate in the process
of finding a family-approved mate.
However, because the internet provides such anonymity, it
unfortunately also provides a place where financial predators, con artists and
other dangerous villains wreak havoc on innocent online daters like you. To avoid finding yourself in a potentially
harmful situation, before signing up to a senior dating site (or any other
dating site, as a matter of fact), be sure to arm yourself with the following
safety tips to ensure a safe and successful experience.
1. Choose dating
site with good security reputation
Do some research before you sign up to a dating site. New
sites are appearing all the time, and although you can find all manner of
specialist and novelty sites, sometimes it pays to go with a well-established
dating site that you have heard of. It makes sense: if a dating site can afford a TV advert, they
must have plenty of members and you are likely to find a higher number of
potential dates than you might do on a niche site. Ask around too – talk to
friends who have dated online before and see who they would recommend, and
check out any reviews and recommendations online.
One thing many people do not realize is that a lot of
dating sites are linked, and within their terms of service is a clause that
allows them to share your personal details with their partner sites. This could
result in your details being shared with a site you are not happy about having
a profile on.
Read the dating site's terms of service and privacy
policy. This may be difficult, because many privacy policies seem to be written
to be as confusing as possible. Here is what to look for:
* The site should provide online security – HTTPS.
* It should delete data after you close the account.
* It should be upfront about sharing your personal
information with other members.
* It should be upfront about who else gets to see your
data.
* It should indicate whether the dating site shares your
e-mail address with third parties.
* Does it give you a chance to opt out?
* Does it provide the name of a real human being to
contact if you have questions?
* How does the site lower the chances of abuse? How does
the site handle abuse if it happens?
* Do the terms of service allow explicit content?
* Does the site review webcams, chats and videos?
* Does the site run all users through a registered sex
offender database such as SSP Blue's RSO SAFE?
* Can you be chosen as the "profile of the
day"?
* Does it reveal your photo only to members or also for
online advertising?
* Does the site provide users with tips on how to navigate
the site safely and successfully, to avoid predators and scammers?
* Does the site provide an emergency phone number?
Be skeptical about promises of full anonymity.
Researchers have found it is entirely possible to re-identify records that have
been anonymized.
2. Keep personal
information personal
When composing your online dating profile and
communicating with fellow senior singles, electronically or in person, never
give out any personally identifying details that you wouldn’t feel comfortable
with in the hands of a stranger. This
includes material like your last name, home address, phone number, financial
info or access to your accounts. You should never feel pressured to share more
than you wish; guard all personal information until you are ready.
Here are few tips for you to consider:
* Share photographs with caution. Digital photos have
attached metadata such as where and when the image was captured that can be
used maliciously. You can scan a photo before sending it and remove the
metadata from a JPEG image.
* Consider getting a free e-mail account specifically for
online dating purposes (from Gmail, Yahoo, Microsoft, etc.). This will allow
you to reveal information about yourself gradually and appropriately. Better
yet, if your dating service offers a blind e-mail service, you should take
advantage of this option. Use an anonymous phone service to chat via your
mobile.
* When it is time to move your communication to the next
level (talking on the phone), never give out your home or work phone number.
Either provide a cell phone number, use Skype to communicate, or use an
anonymous phone service such as Paginglist.com. It is just an added protection
barrier until you get to know the person better.
* Respect your instincts. Trust your doubts about
prospective dates who do not resemble their pictures, people with frightening
personalities, and nagging suspicions that someone is being dishonest. Do not
provide your full name, address and phone number until you have enough
information about your prospective date to feel safe.
* Stop communicating with anyone who attempts to pressure
you into providing your personal or financial information or who seems to be
trying to trick you into providing it. If this happens, contact the dating
provider immediately to protect not only yourself but other users as well.
* Some experts in the industry foresee a day when dating site questionnaires
will be unnecessary because all relevant information will be available from
Facebook and other social networking sources. Keep in mind that everything you
say about yourself online stays online, for better or worse.
3. Keep adequate
computer security
These considerations are pretty general, helping you to remain
safe through any of your online experiences and adventures. However, if you are
not so active online, we would like to highlight the importance of following
these rules:
* Be careful when accessing your account from a public or
shared computer so that others cannot view or record your password or personal
information.
* Be wary of opening email attachments from someone you
have only just met. Especially, when the attachment types are of the most
dangerous type, such as *exe, *bat, else.
* Ensure that you keep your internet security software up
to date.
4. Take things
slow
When you meet someone over the internet whom you would
like to meet in person, the idea of a first date can be very exciting. However, it is very important to take the
time to get to know one another over the internet first. Most senior dating sites allow you to build
an online connection through voice chat, video chat, email, etc. Utilize these tools to learn more about the
person, watch for red flags or inconsistencies, and determine if your online
friend is trustworthy enough to take things to the next level. It may be a good
idea to request a recent photograph of the person to help verify the legitimacy
of the member. Remember, you are in control of your online dating experience
and should never meet in person until you are ready.
5. Do your own research
There is definitely a limit to an online dating
provider’s ability to check the backgrounds of users and verify the information
they provide. They cannot do a criminal records check on every user. Moreover,
a person can become a problem without having any official criminal records.
Therefore, don't get a false sense of security because you're on a dating site;
do your own research to learn more about someone and make informed decisions
before you decide to meet. Check to see if the person you are interested in is
on other social networking sites like Facebook, do a web search to see if there
are other records of the person online, and if possible use google image search
to check the profile photos.
6. Keep a healthy skepticism
It is tempting to think that once you send your profile
out into cyber-world, you will be inundated with messages from eligible dates.
In reality, your first few weeks on any dating website will probably be the
busiest, as your profile is sent out to all the people who have indicated an
interest in someone like you.
Most of the people who contact you will be genuine, even
if they might not be your type. There is always the risk of scammers on any
dating site though. You should be on the lookout for anyone who contacts you
and starts pledging his or her devotion to you immediately. This is a common
tactic for ‘Catfish’ – a term commonly used to describe online impostors who
create a false persona on the Internet to lure people into a relationship.
If somebody sounds too good to be true, they probably
are. Some scammers will study a profile and introduce themselves with a list of
your exact requirements. Ask yourself just how likely it is that anyone in the
real world actually meets every single one of your criteria!
7. Avoid scammers
You already got it, but we want to make a point that people
are not always what they seem. Traditionally, all dating sites, social networks
and other internet services are targeted by scammers. Scammers want one thing
and one thing only – money. Here are a few examples of common scammer behaviors
to watch out for:
1. Declarations of love - If someone you are in contact
with starts declaring their love for you within a matter of weeks (or even days
or hours), be cautious. You need to know someone to come to love them. Instant
messages of love could be someone trying to get right into your life, possibly
for all the wrong reasons. Use common sense and do not be afraid to speak to a
friend to get a second opinion.
2. Requests for money - This really should send alarm
bells ringing whatever the form the request comes in. Scammers will look to
gain your sympathy with the stories they tell.
3. Someone offering you money - Who gives money away to
strangers through a dating site? These are always frauds. The same goes for
anyone with sure-fire get rich quick schemes. The only one trying to get rich
quick is the scammer as he or she fishes for your bank details or other
financial information.
4. Threats and blackmail - These are ugly words. However,
some scammers have tried to threaten money out of people for not showing
pictures, webcam footage or messages that they have managed to get out of users
online.
Advice for avoiding scammers:
* Never ever respond to a request for money.
* Never give out bank account or other details.
* Beware of the sob story - someone telling you how much
they want to visit you but need a loan to pay for the ticket/visas. Or,
soul-touching stories about a desperately ill family member who needs help with
medical expenses.
* The same goes for fantastic too good to be true
business deal they are in on – if only they had some extra up-front money…..
* Watch out for those profiles that immediately tug on heartstrings
– supposed ex-serviceman or woman, or those who claim to be recently widowed to
gain your trust and sympathy.
* Don’t let the passing of time cloud your judgment.
These sorts of pitches may take time to come out in messages, time in which you
may very well have come to trust and value a relationship with your online
contact. That does not make them any less of a lie.
* Our same warning goes for pleas of urgency – about
money needed at short notice. Someone asking you to use a wire service to get
money to them is up to no good.
* Be wary of long distance and overseas relationships:
They can happen but it is an unlikely way for a relationship to start offline
so be wary online.
* Notice if a contact seems out of touch or out of
kilter: people offering foreign numbers for contact, people who seem not to be
aware of things happening in the UK – events, the weather etc., people who want
or need to send messages at unusual hours.
* Be wary if someone seems vague in their communication
about their interests, or may often repeat things or seem disconnected. They
may dodge questions or make excuses for not meeting or speaking on the
telephone. Their profile or communications may also have odd spelling and
grammar.
8. Plan a safe
first date
If an online relationship has progressed to the point of
a face-to-face date, no matter how well you think you may know someone from
your internet contact with him or her, you must continue to place safety as
your number one priority. Follow these
tips for a safe first date:
* Meet in Public.
When meeting for the first time make sure you meet in public during a busy time
of day. Examples of good places to meet are a familiar restaurant or coffee
shop, or even a local bookstore. Never meet someone in a remote location. Along
the same lines, you should stay in a public place for the entire date. Do not
bring someone you met online home with you on the first date, and do not go to
their house or apartment. If you are being pressured, end the date and leave
immediately.
* Drive Yourself.
You should drive yourself to and from your first date, whether that means using
your own vehicle or taking a cab. Never let someone you meet at an online
dating site pick you up at home and be sure to always leave the date on your
own; do not split a cab or accept a ride. It is important to be in control of
your own transportation.
* Tell a Friend.
Be sure to tell a friend or family member your plans for meeting someone in
person. Include a detailed description of when and where you are going. It is
also a good idea to bring a cell phone and update your friend or family member
regularly throughout the date. Tell them when you arrive and stay in contact.
If you do not own a cell phone, borrow one; do not rely on a public phone.
* Be observant of
your surroundings. Forgo the alcohol for the first few dates and keep an
eye on your drink as well as belongings like your wallet, purse and phone.
* Trust your instincts.
Above all, trust your instincts. Do not do anything if you are at all
uncomfortable. If you feel unsure about something during your online dating
experience, there is a probably a good reason. Never hesitate to cut off
communication with someone on a dating website. If you eventually meet in
person, do not be afraid to excuse yourself from a date, to ask someone for
help, or to simply sneak out and drive away. If you feel that you are in
danger, call the police immediately. You should never feel embarrassed or worry
about what someone will think; it is better to be safe than sorry.
9. Long-distance
meetings
Long distance meetings pose special safety concerns to
take into account. Keep these tips in mind.
* Stay in a hotel. Check into your own room and avoid
staying in the other person's home. If you cannot afford a hotel, you should
not go.
* Use a taxi or rental car to get to and from the
airport. Securing your own ride is important. Even if the person you are
meeting volunteers to pick you up from the airport, do not get into a personal
vehicle with someone you have never met.
* Keep your hotel location confidential. The person you
are meeting should respect your privacy until you know each other.
* Remember to keep your family and friends posted. Tell
someone who you are meeting, where you are going and when you will return.
Main risks of
offline dating
While we already mentioned the possible “inconvenience”
of unsafe online dating, let us review again a list of the possible negative
consequences:
* Personal safety when meeting someone in person who you
met online.
* Stalking and harassment.
* Fraud, when people appeal to your better nature to help
them out of an 'unfortunate situation' by sending money.
* People masquerading as somebody who they are not.
* Spam, selling or fraud, especially romance fraud.
* Webcam blackmail, where fraudsters record things you
may do in front of your webcam then use the recording to extort money.
* Phishing emails claiming to be from an online dating
site and encouraging you to divulge personal information.
* Being defrauded by using websites posing as authentic
dating sites.
* Potential theft of your money if you do not use a
secure link when making payments.
* Using certain dishonest dating sites that are known to
set up 'pseudo' or fake profiles where the person you think you have met is
actually employed by the site to keep you hanging on ... and paying money, and to
stop sending you contacts and messages as soon as you have paid the fee to
receive them.
Summary
Online dating can be a safe and rewarding experience if
you stick with reputable dating websites and apply the advice given in this
article. The vast majority of people using online dating sites never have a
problem with safety, but you should always exercise caution and use sound
judgment. No matter where you meet someone, protect yourself and be careful
throughout your entire dating experience.
Sources and
Additional Information:
