A woman got pulled over for speeding by a
California Highway Patrol motorcycle officer. When he walked up to her window
and opened his ticket book she said, "I bet you're going to sell me
tickets to the Highway Patrol Ball."
He replied, "No, Ma'am, highway
patrolmen don't have balls." There followed a moment of silence while she
smiled and he realized what he had said. Without saying another word, he closed
his book, got back on his motorcycle and left.
Supposedly
true story from Humboldt County, denounced as Hoax by Snopes
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have
one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk
driving.
Officer: I see.... Can I see your vehicle
registration papers please?
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the
owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman:
His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to
his car and calls for back up. Within few minutes, five police armored vehicles
circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn
gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your
vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you
have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you open the trunk of your
car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty
trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration
papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do
not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch
purse, and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks
quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers
told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you
murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding,
too.
Moral: Don't mess with little old ladies!
