"Some people spend more time planning a two-week vacation than they do their retirement."
~ Anonymous
Retirement is a passage from one lifestyle to another. One
way to think of the term "retire" is by placing a hyphen between the
'e' and the 't' and creating a new term—re-tire: To put on new treads.
Those who take the voyage seriously and do the right kind of
planning usually have a smoother trip and more fun.
Discussions with seasoned retirees indicate that there are
many myths and misconceptions about retirement. Often you will hear these myths
stated as fact. Here are some of the most common ones.
The Female Exclusion
Myth
Some people, including women, continue to believe that only
men retire. This misconception ignores the career women who have the same
retirement adjustment problems that men have. Also, it falsely assumes that
women not holding down 9-to-5 jobs cannot retire. This may stem from the old
saying: "A man's work is from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done."
Homemakers often have a more difficult voyage than those who retire from a job.
Women who have been homemakers all their lives need to insist on being a full
partner when their spouses retire.
One reason the myth may continue is that women sometimes
lose their spouses early. The transition of widowhood is so traumatic that it
hides the equally important second passage that must be made.
The Piece of Cake
Myth
Retirement should be the dessert that follows the
full-course meal of earlier life. Maybe this is why pre-retirees view the
transition as a piece of cake. Instead of thinking ahead to retirement, they
make comments such as: "My retirement plan consists of putting all of my
work problems in my briefcase and presenting them to my boss as a farewell
present," or "Retirement is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
You don't have to plan for something that beautiful."
Many pre-retirees are so occupied with getting out of their
career traps that they seem to care little about what happens when they leave
their jobs. Despite the fact that they have planned other phases of their
lives, they seem to feel retirement will take care of itself. The opposite is
often true. For example, many retirees go back to work because they cannot
handle leisure time. Learning to live in comfort and with style after
retirement does not necessarily come easy.
The "Honey, Do .
. ." Myth
The word has been out for years that some men put off
retirement because they fear their wives will control their free house. It will
be, "Honey, do the dishes," "Honey, do the windows," and
"Honey, take the dog to the vet." Normally, these individuals need
not worry because most women don't want someone under foot, monitoring their
activities and invading their space. One wife expressed it well: "The only
time you will ever hear me use that 'Honey, do' expression is when I say,
'Honey, do something on your own, away from the house, so we can both have room
to breathe.'" Spouses need the same autonomy after retirement that they
did before.
The Hobby Myth
One individual tells the story of a man so concerned about
retirement that he experimented with hobbies in advance. By the time he
retired, he had run through his hobby possibilities and had to find something
more substantial to occupy his time. The same thing can happen after
retirement. Don't misunderstand, hobbies are a great idea. Those who can derive
satisfaction from photography, gourmet cooking, stamp collecting, and so on are
lucky. But hobbies must continue to be fun and interesting or they quickly
become unsatisfying. Few people create a complete new lifestyle around hobbies.
A few will be able to convert their favorite hobby into a small business or a
lifetime artistic achievement, but most are not this fortunate.
The Retirement/Early Death
Myth
We have all known people who are not around long after their
retirement parties. The unhappy scenario causes strange reactions—"It's
too bad Joe didn't work longer," "The moment people retire they grow
old," or "I'd still have Fred if he hadn't retired so early."
Retirement can be painful, but it is not lethal. It is a
change not unlike those earlier in life. Most people who die shortly after
retirement probably had health problems before they stopped working. Retirement
had nothing to do with their demise.
The only connection between retirement and early death may
be that some retirees fail to keep active. They relax to the point that their
bodies self-destruct. They give up. They fail to stay in charge. There are many
reasons for retiring early, and there are just as many for retiring later. But
staying on the treadmill because you fear retirement will cause early death
should not be one of them.
The Prior
Success/Easy Passage Myth
It is not difficult to see why this misconception persists. It
stands to reason that those people who are successful before retirement should
find retirement easier to cope with than those who did not do as well. Success
breeds success; failure breeds failure. Translated, this means that corporate
presidents should have an easier retirement than custodians; professional ball
players should make smoother transitions than the vendors who sold hot dogs in
the stadium; and nursing superintendents should adjust better than orderlies.
True? Absolutely false! In fact, it often works the other
way around. Those who earned high psychic rewards from their careers may have
trouble finding replacements after retirement. It may be difficult to find a
retirement role that provides enough ego satisfaction. All retirees can build a
better lifestyle.
The Paid-Up Dues Myth
Some conscientious individuals who have worked hard all
their lives feel that are home free when they retire. They say, "I've done
my bit for society; now it's society's turn" or "I paid my dues
through church work for 30 years, now the church can take care of me."
These people operate under the premise that you pay your
dues during working years and then draw interest. A nice dream, but sadly, life
doesn't work that way. In fact, happy retirees often pay more dues, not less.
They contribute more to charitable organizations and communities than when they
were working. Perhaps the most successful retirees are those who have an
opportunity to repay society by sharing their talents.
The Odd Job Myth
If you ask friends who plan to retire in the next few years
about their expectations, some will reply: "There are enough jobs around
the house to keep me busy for at least 10 years."
Those well-meaning individuals, without knowing it, are
using odd jobs as an excuse. They think about how satisfying it will be to
catch up on all the little chores they have been avoiding. It usually takes
only a few weeks to discover the truth. Having more time doesn't make a job any
more fun to do. In fact, some retirees hate them so much they return to work
for enough money to pay the plumber, gardener, and painter. All probably wish
they had done more serious pre-retirement planning.
The 'Sell a Little
Real Estate' Myth
Retirees are attracted to real estate like children to a
candy store. You hear this expression over and over: "I'm working on my
real estate license to supplement my retirement income by working a few hours a
week. All I need to do is sell a few homes each year. Best of all it won't
interfere with my leisure activities."
Those who know better find it difficult to keep quiet when
hearing this dialogue. Professional realtors chuckle because they know they
will not receive any serious competition from this quarter. At best, a
part-time realtor will make very few sales. Selling real estate is not a
part-time career; it is difficult and time consuming. The professionals say you
have to be in the field seriously or you should get out. Many retirees attempt
real estate careers for awhile and then painfully lower their sights or give
up. Few invest the time required to become successful.
The 'Money Will Go
Further' Myth
Inflation should have exploded this myth years ago. Not so.
You still hear: "Think of the money I'll save doing repairs myself,"
"We will buy less meat and improve our health," "My taxes will
be lower," and "Senior discounts are everywhere."
Although there are financial advantages after retirement,
certain factors continue to be ignored. What about the problem of having more
time to spend less money? What about increased expenses for home, car, and
medical insurance? Utility bills? Unfortunately people don't have trial
retirements to test how far their money will go. If they did, they would
discover that retirement dollars do not stretch any further than pre-retirement
ones, and there are usually fewer of them.
The Stay Busy Myth
Keeping busy is a great idea after retirement, providing you
are doing what you want to do. But if you keep busy simply to be busy, you are
falling for the myth. Some people think that if they stay busy enough, their
retirement problems will go away and they will be happy ever after. Others stay
busy to anesthetize themselves against thoughts of aging or living alone.
These individuals seem willing to trade a life of potential
contentment for a frenzied existence. Instead of slowing down to design a
rewarding retirement strategy, they spend time and energy on meaningless tasks.
They visit the supermarket daily when once or twice a week would do. They
accept social invitations knowing they will be bored. Worst off all, they
stretch dull chores around the house. You get the feeling these retirees are
avoiding retirement. Are they afraid to face a new, more mature identity? Has
life been so disappointing that they dare not hope for anything better? Are
they afraid to get off the treadmill and search for late-in-life happiness?
The Big Time
Misconception
Most retirees grossly underestimate the amount of time they
will have on their hands following retirement. We live within a 24-hour time
box. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is pending, today is center stage. To be
happy, both before and after retirement, we must deal effectively with each
time block—every day.
Actually, time relates to our waking hours. Retirees often
do not understand how large a block of time 16 hours is. You can fly to London
from San Francisco and still have time for a stage play in 16 hours, or drive
across two or three large states. During this time period, it is possible to
play 18 holes of golf, take a good swim, have dinner with friends, go dancing,
and still read a few chapters before bed.
Yet, if it is not filled with meaningful activities, 16
hours can be forever. Some retirees merely treasure their time while others
take this treasure and convert it into excitement. Still others permit time to
bore them to death.
What is the
difference?
The answer may lie in planning. Some retirees keep something
planned to maintain their excitement and motivation. Others, with the same
opportunity, have no special events to fill the time and stretch uninteresting
tasks just to get through each day.
Summary
Both women and men have their own retirement considerations.
Knowing the myths and misconceptions about retirement helps an individual avoid
foolish, unnecessary mistakes. One of the key challenges of retirement is
knowing what to do with your time. Give careful consideration and planning to your
future retirement years and avoid some of the myths that are still so
prevalent.
Author: Michael E.
Leonetti
