It does not look surprising to anyone that online dating
services image for retired people is somehow blurry and suspicious. Paranoia
that the Internet and Web is infested with dangerous characters, looking to
steal our identity and money, stigmatized online dating for retired. In many
cases, the mature adults, looking for relationship, are not so comfortable with
modern computer gadgets and are afraid that lack of understanding of the
technological threats may lead to unfortunate sad circumstances.
However, as increasing numbers of people discover love
on the net, internet dating is getting a reputation revamp. According to research firm IBISWorld, baby boomers now
represent about 20% of online daters, and growing. The number of online dating
site users 50 or older jumped 8% from February 2010 to February 2011, compared
to a 4% overall, according to research firm comScore.
Why you should consider online dating?
- Bigger
Playfield
As the divorce rate for older Americans climbs, so does the number of
potential singles. While the overall divorce rate has decreased slightly over
the past 20 years, it has doubled for those over 50, according to the latest
data from the National Center for Family & Marriage Research at Bowling
Green State University -- leaving many seniors single and available. At the
same time, internet use overall has tripled for older Americans in the past 10
years, according to the Pew Internet Project, and the stigma of online dating
is significantly lower than it was even a few years ago, experts say. And since
it can be harder for boomers to meet new people than it is for younger adults
(college parties, weddings, clubs), it's only natural older Americans are
turning to online dating.
- You
are under control
With internet dating, you have a full control on with
who, when and where you can meet up with the person, you feel a lot in common
following online communication. You can go slowly, as you like, and disclose
the information to the carefully considered pace, and agree for the
face-to-face meeting when you feel it is a right thing to do, and you are ready
for the live session. The amount of time you spend on your research will
reflect on the level of success you have meeting new friends online and perhaps
finding a potential new partner. It is not always going to be an instant
success and you may well need to make many contacts before you meet a suitable
person. It is therefore essential that you are always thorough in your research
and have a fairly clear idea of your own criteria before you rush into
relationships.
- Open
communication
People sometimes point out that with regards to
online dating for retired you can never ensure that what you are being told may
be the truth. But tend to we have ever be? As with life normally, with internet
dating it’s always best to use your instinct. Plus, it isn’t actually in anyone’s
interest to lie on their own online profile. Any lies regarding your age or
your height etc will teach you up whenever you meet someone directly. Generally
everyone knows that honesty really is the better policy. To the bright point,
if you are not talking to the person you know well, it might be easier to do so
indirectly, not facing the person. So, at the initial stages, Internet
communication may offer better opportunities to open yourself and to explore
the person you are interesting in.
- Natural
communication
Most of the retired are
already spending a lot of time online, in social communities like Facebook. We
shop online, we read online, we watch videos online. Then we speak about it, we
share site and we broadcast our thoughts to hundreds of our friends. We have
become an internet nation and online dating sites represent the natural
progression for keyboard pounding, smartphone-worshipping lifestyles.
Pitfalls of online
dating
- Common
disadvantages
The pitfalls of online dating hold no matter what your age: weeding
through profiles is exhausting, people are less-than-honest in their self-representation,
and everyone's ideas about dating and commitment vary. But for older Americans,
there are additional challenges, say experts. For one, many sites allow you to
filter by age. That means you might not get to meet that potential soul mate
simply because he or she filtered out everyone over 50 (or 60). Many older
Americans may be less aware of the risks of courting people over the web simply
because they've been out of the dating world for a while or don't have a lot of
friends who have experience with it, says Dr. Leanna Wolfe, an L.A.-based
sexologist. "You can get lulled into a false sense of knowing someone by
chatting with them online, and then may be more willing to go out onto a date
with them that isn't in the safest place," says Wolfe.
- Cost
of services
Internet dating can be pricey. Annual memberships can cost $50 per month
or more. And that's not counting the actual cost of dating. Roughly 60% of men
spend more than $50 per date during the first few weeks of dating someone new, and
65% of women spend $50 or more on clothing and grooming to get ready, according
to a recent survey by Match.com. Those costs are even higher in big cities and
other expensive regions of the country.
General
Recommendations
- Start
with a freebie
One way to explore the
online dating pool is to join a free online dating site and see how it goes.
However, what you consider as freebie, might be not viewed the same way by the
site owners. For example, it may be free to create a profile, but sending or
responding to the message from another member may be considered as premium
service, which will cost you money. So, read carefully the fine print in the
Terms and Conditions section and review the service before you spend your time
on it. Also, some free sites tend to be hard to navigate and search for
potential matches, and are filled with distracting ads.
Most paid sites for
seniors, such as SeniorFriendFinder.com and OurTime.com, also offer free trials
of their services. Boomers can shop around by signing up for a few free plans
to determine which site fits them best.
Lastly, most dating
sites regular run specials for discount memberships.
- Build a winning profile
Your profile is one of the two key elements that
will determine if a person emails you on an online dating service. Thus it's
important to make sure that your profile is lively, fun, and positive. Avoid
negatives at all costs. Promote
yourself. It will help if you focus on your positive traits and things that you
can offer in a relationship.
Examine other profiles and determine what about it
makes you more interested or less interested. If a person finds your profile
interesting and not generic then you have increased your chances of someone
showing interest in you. Make yours interesting!
- Post great recent photos
You have to admit - when you do your own search on
an online dating service the first thing that grabs your attention is the
photo. This is the single most important element to getting people to view that
great profile you've written. These days, generic photos won't cut it. You need
to determine what colors look best on you, dress nice, be clean cut, and have
someone take various photos of you that are fun and lively.
- Learn effective communication techniques
Your very first email to someone you're interested
in should be considered as the most important one because it will help
determine whether or not they write back. It's important to personalize your
introductory email and spend more time asking questions (based on the other
person's profile) than providing information about yourself. Throwing a
compliment in doesn't hurt either (i.e. "I love your smile" or
"your profile is one of the best I've read").
In the course of online communication, be
considerate and respectful. Being respectful means not just not being rude, but
also not "dropping off the face of the earth" when you move on to the
next potential candidate. It's very disrespectful when you don't send a polite
message letting other people know that you are moving on. In brief, treat your
correspondents the same way as you would like to be treated yourself.
5. Say truth
In the world of online dating, obvious lies may take on many forms, including: posting a photo more than nine months old; lying about your age; lying about your income; lying about your job. The simple fact is that you are likely looking for your soul mate, so at some point in the dating relationship, this clear misrepresentation will likely to backfire. Always try to be honest and truthful in everything you say and post. By always telling the truth, you'll never have to remember what you said!
In the world of online dating, obvious lies may take on many forms, including: posting a photo more than nine months old; lying about your age; lying about your income; lying about your job. The simple fact is that you are likely looking for your soul mate, so at some point in the dating relationship, this clear misrepresentation will likely to backfire. Always try to be honest and truthful in everything you say and post. By always telling the truth, you'll never have to remember what you said!
- Go
slow
It's tempting to
read someone's profile, shoot them a couple emails and jump right to the date.
But one tactic that can save time and money is getting to know a potential date
better before taking them out. Along with a few phone calls, you can setup a
"Skype date" or video chat in order to see your match in person
first. It helps you get a better sense of the person than just messaging or
even taking on the phone with them does. And you can also see if the profile
picture matches the person.
- Don't be too picky
Try to lessen your
search criteria in order to get more possible matches. People who tend to be
too picky end up not finding Mr. or Ms. Right. Be sure to set realistic and
attainable expectations.
8.
Play safe
From the time you sign up for a service through the time you meet on a date, it's important to be safe. Never give out too much personal information; never give a home phone number; always meet in a public place for the first date; ask for a recent photo (or how old posted photos are); and trust your gut instinct.
From the time you sign up for a service through the time you meet on a date, it's important to be safe. Never give out too much personal information; never give a home phone number; always meet in a public place for the first date; ask for a recent photo (or how old posted photos are); and trust your gut instinct.
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